I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
