operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
