I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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