there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
