Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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