so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just blew my weed a kiss
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
