youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I will be naked everywhere
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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