i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
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