he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
