Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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