I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize