i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
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this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
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how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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