you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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