One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's shark week go big or go home
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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