I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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