I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
