tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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