What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Someone came in the potted fern
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
