I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
