I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize