can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
