shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Randomize
