Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize