Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
