You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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