If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
