loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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