wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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