we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am available for nakedness
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize