and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
