So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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