yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This is the high leading the old right now
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
