he puts the penis in happiness.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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