I cockslap morals
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
