I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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