Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
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so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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