you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
