You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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