she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
