We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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