never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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