can we get nightvision for the apartment?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
