Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
