508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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