Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We need to get me chipped asap
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
