I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
