So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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