While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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