I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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