I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
sex in a hospital.. check
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
