I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
