You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize