Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
