yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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