i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
