Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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