How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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