after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
