Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
