Reggie can tackle my bush.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Vodka?
Forever.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize