I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
should my penis look like a turkey
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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